“Please be patient with me. Sometimes when I’m quiet it’s because I need to figure myself out. It’s not because I don’t want to talk. Sometimes there are no words for my thoughts.”
Carl Rogers was a humanistic therapist that encouraged other therapists to use activie listening and unconditional positive regard. What are these, you might ask?
Active listening: Empathetic listening in which the listener echoes, restates, and clarifies - staple of Roger's client-centered therapy.
Unconditional positive regard: A caring, accepting, nonjudgmental attitude, which Carl Rogers believed would help clients to develop self awareness and self-acceptance.
Although not everyone is a psychotherapist/social worker or what have you, people should generally follow these when someone talks to you about their problems and/or asks for advice.
My textbook says:
“If you want to listen more actively in your own relationships, three hints may help:
Paraphrase. Rather than saying “I know how you feel,” check your understandings by summarizing the speaker’s words in your own words.
Invite clarification. "What might be an example of that?“ may encourage the speaker to say more.
Reflect feelings. "That sounds frustrating” (*side note/unquote* you probably should be more informal with a friend on this, but that’s a given) might mirror what you’re sensing from the speaker’s body language and intensity.“
- Myers, David G. “Chapter 13: Treatment of Psychological Disorders.” Myers’ Psychology for AP. New York, NY: Worth, 2011. 610. Print.
It’s hardly a surprise that introverts hate small talk. Socialising for introverts can be challenging, nevermind being stuck with someone talking about how unusually nice the weather is. Small talk is boring, unmotivating and sometimes down right dull. Introverts get energised by having meaningful conversations, we want to connect with people and expand our knowledge. But with small talk that doesn’t happen, it can leave us feeling unfulfilled and like we’ve wasted time. So, Psych2Goshares with you what introverts would rather talk about instead of small talk.
1) What is actually going on in your life
We’ve all been there before, you greet someone with a friendly ‘hey, you been up to much?’ they reply with ‘this and that, y’know, you?’ and you follow up with ‘keeping busy, keeping busy’. In reality, you don’t actually know because ‘this and that’ isn’t an real answer, it’s vague and doesn’t offer an opener for a meaningful conversation. I don’t know if this is just an English custom but…
